With my neurologist being adamant my condition was nothing to do with Epilepsy she instructed me to wean myself off Keppra and pursue whatever medication my psychiatrist felt was appropriate.
My psychiatrist, I believe, felt a bit lumbered with my case, as he was fully aware that the neurologist had drawn a firm line under my case and had passed it out of neurology and into psychiatry. Yet he did not know how to make things better for me and he still believed there were epileptic tendencies.
I was on pregabalin, 200MG twice daily and I was still having major problems with my speech at this point, it was very slurred and my train of thought would often disappear. I was experiencing a locked jaw and a sharp stabbing pain in the left frontal side of my brain. Whilst taking Pregabalin I experienced horrible hallucinations; spiders crawling all over the walls and objects moving in the room. It was very scary, I felt as though my brain had been taken over. However it was impossible to know whether Pregabalin was playing a part in the hallucinations or if it was just my brain not functioning the way it should.
It felt as though my brain was crumbling, literally like a cookie. When I felt anxious, I would feel surges of electricity through my body and on one particular occasion, whilst having an anxiety attack, I could see the electricity in front of my eyes in fluorescent blue. I have never heard of anyone being able to visually see their anxiety attack. I would love to know / connect with someone who has experienced this.
My Pregabalin dose got increased to 400MG twice daily, there wasn’t really any major side effects of Pregabalin for me. I wasn’t concerned about my anxiety at this point. I am still not overly concerned now because I believe that if I was able to eradicate the physical pain I experience, my anxiety, might not be cured, but it would definitely not be anywhere near the levels it got to in the past. Living with constant pain is obviously going to cause anxiety.
Nevertheless, it was starting to become apparent that I was becoming a bit of a ‘guinee pig’ for psychiatric and epilepsy medication, as my Mum likes to describe it.